Ninth Lovely

Knock-knock.
Slowly, the chipped white painted door creaked open. Not enough for me to come in, just for a sly brown eye to peak out. The door shut right back, pushing against my hand and I heard a small click. I paused, then knocked again. This time, all I got was an aloof "hello?"
Frustrated, I dived for the doorknob. Despite my shaking, it stood firm and instead I got yet another "hello?" This time, more impatient and demanding. It irritated me. I closed my eyes, looked downward and crossed my arms.
"Open the door," I called.
In return, a chipped, "No."
"I said open the door."
"And I said no."
"Gora." I dug my fingernails into my arms and clenched my jaw.
"What're you gonna do?" he teased. I could hear hints of laughter in his voice. "Spank me? Break down the door? I'm an adult, old man. That's assault."
"You are sixteen."
"So?"
I took a deep breath. The same excuse he always used. Sure, adulthood was coming soon, but it wasn't here yet. He was still a child, my child. And with the way he was acting, I prayed that adulthood wasn't coming that soon. "Gora."
He snorted. "Yes, because saying my name over and over will make a difference."
"Speak!" I blurted out. In the moment, I felt so ignored and overpowered, I said whatever came to mind. It shut him up. For about a minute, Gora didn't utter a single sarcastic remark. "I said speak, Gora. Obviously, you don't want to listen to me. So why don't I shut up and listen to you?"
I heard his hands press up against the door and saw it nudge slightly closer. He hesitated, then cried out, "You won't. Just go away." His voice shook and the door rattled. I remained quiet and stubbornly stood there. There I stood, for a minute. Two minutes. Five minutes. Ten. Twenty.
Glancing up at the clock hanging over the corridor bathroom, I was there for a little over half an hour. Finally, the doorknob turned. The door opened once more, and this time I saw all of Gora. Thin, swollen eyes, towering over me, he halfheartedly glared at me. "You're still here." I gave him a small nod. He sighed, "Look, what do you even want from me?"
I hesitated to open my mouth. But when I looked up at my son's face and the tear stained cheeks he sported, my discipline fizzled. "What's going on?" I hastily asked. "Are you stressed?"
Gora's eyes widened and brought on an uncomfortable smile. "Stress? Ooh boy, my middle name."
Carefully, I put a hand on his shoulder. It calmed him down a bit so I lowered my voice to just over a whisper. "Why?" His eyes avoided me. Just past his face, I caught sight of a rainbow blanket Kutu had bought him when he was little. Seeing it proudly hung up in his room, I had to fight the smile that crept up on me. "Gora?"
His eyes flickered. "I just..." As he struggled to continue, I noticed a small blush on his face.
"Is it a person?"
He scrunched up his face, "Kind of..." My gaze returned to the blanket. Around it, there were little rainbow clips pinned up around it. There was a picture there too. Though, I couldn't see it clearly. So I squinted at it, trying to make out the photo. Gora caught me and snapped, "What're you looking at?"
My lips tightened. "May I come in?"
"No need." His whole demeanor shifted. Slapping my hand away, he backed into his room and closed the door a little more. "I don't want you prying into my personal life."
"I'm not trying to pry, I just--"
"Well that's what you're doing!" Gora's gaze was like a pair of daggers, daring me to make a move. I didn't. He huffed and tried to close the door.
However, I stuck my arm in and held it open. I pleaded with him, "Gora, please... I just want to help." He continued to glare at me, but I saw a small lip quiver. "I know it's all been hard. The moves, Couro, my work, Kutu--"
"Shut up." Dire mistake. The anger, grief, sympathy--everything--vanished. Gora looked down at me with apathetic eyes. "Just shut the hell up."
"Gora--"
"Momma actually understood. Unlike your pathetic ass, she understood." I desperately searched for a response, but came out empty handed. Gora smirked, "What is that too much? Good." With that, he shut the door and I heard a small click.