Lyrics Over: Afrobeat Instrumental "ALWAYS" x Afro x Type beat | 2022 prod. by Beatz Vampire Craze

art by GDBEE

 Fuck up a million times

How life do for you

Cry a million more

Onye ask am kedu

Ebe na mask

Where my voice am go reach

When you no see a wall

It'll make ya scream

I'm faded, like my mind

Transparent, every time

Dey craze, dey misaligned

Nobody's here but mine

Right here

Abeg come meet me like this

I go fix up my fit

Ndi blow up my mix up

(Hey) No sense again?

(Hey) Ibiakwa again?

Shakara they give 

You see this girl drown, no dey struggle again

Ego it go round, it's so silencing

Showing me pepper, nwagi under it

Inner sabi under layers of skin while padi padi

They still sensing it, despite all my tirals, they still raising it

I'm seeing the stars, my ala di talk oh she tell em fear not

Go and reach for it all, so I've put out akam, I'm collecting it all

I'm faded, like my mind

Transparent, every time

Dey craze, dey misaligned

Nobody's here but mine

Right here

Abeg come meet me like this

I go fix up my fit

Ndi blow up my mix up

(Hey) Once I start settling, nwanyigi rise up, there's no pause again

(Hey) Lost innocence, sabi dey shine as my fate closes in oh

Jeshike again, tiene your best so the next will begin

"ALWAYS" prod. by Beatz Vampire Craze 0:27-1:55

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Poem Prompt: Find Yourself

art by GDBEE

To find something is to identify it. 

When something is lost, it is unknown, it can vanish without a trace. 

But to find it again, you reunite. You hug that thing and keep it close. 

To find something is to know it dearly.

I fear I may never know myself. 

I change so often, react so much.

The days I act without speaking are inexplicable gaps in my knowledge. 

What if I never understand those moments? How far can I ever really learn myself without understanding?

What about the transitions? Those periods where you shuffle through the day to day as it morphs around you?

Those transitions that are so painstakingly helpless but euphorically electrifying?

The past year has been so unreal. That couldn't have been me. 

Each day felt so foreign--I've been happy. I think.

Some days I feel so far removed from yesterday's me. 

That was the girl I hope no one ever remembers. Some days, I cripple myself in fear of becoming like her.

 Yet...who was she?

I don't remember last yesterday's me. What was it like to be her?

I miss her.

I've forgotten her...she can vanish now.

Do I wish that for her? How far can my pursuit of tomorrow's me go without her?

Quite frankly, I don't think I'll ever find myself.

I will eventually become tomorrow's me.

And when the time come I shall be next tomorrow's me.

But it's a natural process. I may never purposefully do it.

So why do I put so much effort into trying?

I don't know, I seem interesting.

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Rejuvination

art by GDBee

I haven't written a single creative sentence in entirely way too long. College, am I right?

Life has a funny way of strapping you down. It throws thing after thing at you, demanding you to split your attention more and more. Eventually, you choose to look away from certain things. What seems to be more important just needs a certain amount of attention that you can't even imagine splitting for a moment. 

But eventually, in the midst of the chaos, you start to drown. The reality of only paying mind to what seems most important is to let go of what brings you joy. Quick gratification is relinquished in favor of building up something more. It's so easy to fall behind on hobbies, people, even yourself. Ever since this semester started, I've had several breakdowns realizing that life just keeps trudging on without me. I decided to study out of state, meaning the people most important to me have to be called. I'm being updated on my siblings' lives, my friends' lives. I passively watch as they continue their lives. Meanwhile, I chose to do engineering. The work just keeps coming and it's so mentally draining. The hope of a dream career is the only thing keeping me going.

Also, writing. Unironically, I write so often in my free time. I've mostly resigned to only writing lyrics, but I've come to enjoy it so much. Playing with words, rhythms, and references in a quick 30-second snippet can be such a picker-upper. So, expect an influx of rap/song lyrics. I'm not sure what else I want to continue on the blog. I'm not as interested in the movie reviews but I definitely want to continue Turtle Thoughts and Poem Prompts. And stories...god, I haven't written a story in ages. I want to focus on The Will of Blood and 80 Lovelies, so I think my WattPad might officially be done. Unless I get some inspiration to continue.

Will 80 Lovelies be redone? Absolutely. 

I'm incredibly excited to be back. I feel as though this blog would serve as a really good emotional and creative outlet. I'm really glad I chose to not pursue writing professionally. I allowed it to be a relax pad to fall back on and I'm so thankful now to have it. 

Okay, see you all soon. :)

P.S. I'm rebranding. :))