Poem Prompt: Mine

Me, not you.

My possession, my rule,

my call, on my time.

You stay in my line,

my words lead all.

Everyone meets all

regulations, constraints

that I set in place.

All complaints must be placed

up to me--and only me. 

I'm the only being 

who over all I tower.

This is my time, is my hour--

all this power, it's all mine.

Picture Prompt: Manny

Manny the Giraffe

Picture Prompt: Move

Is Rose Quartz a Good Person?

Or gem, I should say.
Either way, the short answer is no. Not at all.
Sure, she was abused, mistreated, and neglected, all of which most likely messed up her psyche and moral conscious. But that doesn't change the fact that she hurt thousands, affected billions, kept up a silly rouse for several millenia before her true identity got out.
Which, honestly, was a bit of a slap to the face to the fandom considering how much we used to adore her.
In reality, however, she was an immature, insatiable, dismissive, easily unimpressed sociopath looking for her next high. I say sociopath due to her lack of concern for how her actions affected others and how her "highs" always seemed to be some major change in the way things were. Everything she did was always done to an unnecessary extreme that ended up hurting someone. Even the creation of Steven himself was an all-or-nothing solution to her want to create life.
From the beginning, she's characteristically portrayed as nothing less than a brat. A child who has no idea how the world works and wants to explore. However, said child's parental figures already know they'll get bored with the real world just like that. Right there is a near perfect description of Rose. A child in search of entertainment who doesn't know her actions have consequences. I will give her this: the Diamonds' treatment of her was more likely than not the source of her apathy.
Still, she whines and cries until she gets what she wants. A colony. Once finally gifted with one, she not only cruelly abandons her long time friend, Spinel, but she also quickly starts to abandon her duties as a leader. Honestly, Pink Diamond only ever shifted in the first place out of pure boredom. Not because she was already thinking of freeing her gems--she never really thought about that. She wanted Earth. Gems who struggled in Homeworld just happened to be her best bet at an army, made clear to her by Garnet. Suddenly, she's not just looking to free Earth, but also attempting to free reject gems. In retrospect, this does end well, giving the Crystal Gems a chance to emerge and build a free world. But for thousands of years before anything truly like that is achieved, Rose Quartz gathers a plethora of gems, only for them to be shattered, bubbled, or corrupted to defend their liar of a leader. Think of all the gems who happily gave themselves up for Rose Quartz and her cause--now think of how many will never know the truth.
Who knows what she's done? Hell, Bismuth was just poofed, bubbled, and stored away inside Lion without second thought. Hidden in a place Rose knew no other gem could access and didn't even bother to alert her closest confidant. Instead, she placed Bismuth in a spot supposedly impossible for anyone else to enter, then lied to everyone else about her whereabouts. For a hot moment, she had us fooled. "Shattering is wrong." We all sympathized for a moment. But locking up your friend with no sure means of escape without second thought? She might as well have.
So then, what good has she brought? Well, she was the foot in the door. As twisted as her motives were, she started the war that banded the Crystal Gems together. She inspired so many gems to be their best selves and power through until they knew their own strength. She created Steven, who ended up being more suited for the role she took on.
Nearly nothing she did, in the moment, was necessarily right, but the Crystal Gems were always able to push through and make good of it.

Movie Review: Steven Universe Movie

Yo, it's Toby.
So, the Steven Universe Movie was released on September 2, 2019. A musical directed by Rebecca Sugar which serves as a bridge from Season 5 to Season 6 of the the usual T.V. series we've known and loved since 2013. Has it actually been 6 whole years? Damn.
I'll admit, I took my time with watching the movie and only recently finished. It was quite a rollercoster. We start by being introduced to the world Steven and the Crystal Gems had built up in the past two years. And, Steven has a neck. It's nice to see some serious development not only on Beach City but with their relationship with Homeworld. Even on Homeworld, gems are making more of an effort to live together in unity and equality. However, Steven's managed to trap himself in a "this is the end" mindset.
Obviously that isn't true, considering he sings about at the very start of the movie. Almost as soon as his song ends, Spinel hops in and ruins the party. A biochemical injector, meant to destroy all organic life on Earth. Okay, definitely a threat. The Crystal Gems hop into action but are stopped by Spinel's rejuvinator. We later find out that it reverts a gem back to its original form. How far exactly is unsure. But we're left with a never-before-fused Ruby and Sapphire, a newly emerged Amethyst, a servant Pearl and a naive Spinel. Even Steven was affected. Though his human development stayed intact, his gem became the same gem on the powerless boy we met in the first episode. This genius idea allows for a story to unfold, digging into what makes each gem themselves. It shows the main traits they've developed that have brought them this far, and highlights their strengths.
As much as I praise it, I have to admit, the introduction of a whole new conflict kind of threw me off. I somewhat hoped for something touched in the series to be readdressed and expanded on, because Lord knows how many issues have been brushed over in this show. Although, Spinel is a nice character. And her story kinda followed others' stories with Pink/Rose. They were close, then she got bored/busy, then she played with them and left. Almost predictable and fit in with the current timeline nicely. She was also a good demonstration of how innocent gems don't always change for the better. Even at the end when Steven was offering her friendship, she'd grown just enough to realize just how damaged she was.
Steven's eyes were also opened in this movie. Everyone's were really. They stopped expecting a perfect life and learned to live with a will to grow. The notion that it'll never be easy is constantly made and Steven realizes just how young he is and how much work he still has to do. But instead of letting it get him down like he used to, he saw it as a new beginning. If today is good, how great could tomorrow be?
"There's no such thing as Happily Ever After...I'll always have more work to do." ~Steven Universe, Steven Universe: The Movie

Friendship

The famous two-way street.
We all long for it, and no, it's never easy. Even for people who manage to socialize with others easily, a true, long-lasting friendship still takes time, dedication, and effort. Sure, an acquaintance is easier to come by, and with much less work. But a true friend, a person you'll be genuinely grateful to have them in your life, will come about only with patience.
Sometimes it's a struggle. Scratch that, it will always be a struggle. Two people spending that much time together and getting through that many conflicts is difficult. It doesn't matter your personality or relationship, it will be a challenge. Which is probably what makes the feel of a genuine friend so sweet.
However, it doesn't always work out. Though it's hard for some to accept, not everyone they meet will be a good friend. Sometimes, even relationships we hold close to heart need a bit of reconsideration.
I've seen this happen all too often. Hell, I've lived through the feeling. It's easy to cling on to people, especially when you're in a situation where you feel lonely or abandoned. While the person you glue yourself to may not be trying to manipulate you per se, you still have to think about their motives. What do they want from you? From your friendship? Is it more or less than your expectations?
While compromising is important, it's a give and take sort of thing. The more you give, the more you take. Some call it selfish, but it's not. You can't pour your heart out into someone who you wouldn't expect to ever be there. It's back and forth. An equilibrium that takes time to achieve, but with the right person, could one day be done by everyone.

Poem Prompt: Dizzy

I took her hand, I held it tight.

I smiled and followed her feet--

she ran in a circle, I ran in a circle.

We ran and ran, laughing and crying

until we felt

dizzy.

I fell.

We would do this every day

back when we had time.

But then we didn't,

so instead we did this whenever we saw each other,

which was often enough.

We still ran and ran.

Then she got another job--

and another, and another, and another--

so we had no time left.

I didn't want to bother her, 

she only did her best.

I ran in circles on my own until I felt

dizzy.

I fell.

She still held my hand sometimes,

and lead me to some places.

One day though, she let go--

she let go all the time really.

But normally she'd look back, wave at me, assure she was returning.

This time:

nothing.

She simply let go of my hand--

and took someone else's.

I didn't know what to do or how to respond,

so I waited for her.

Days, weeks, I sat there waiting, hoping.

For what? I was never really sure.

I just sat out there until I felt

dizzy.

I fell.

Hard.

Poem Prompt: Up

The clouds, the moon, the heavens, the sun--

everything up there seems much more fun.

When I go outside, I wish day after day

that, just once, I may join the birds and play.

Looking below me sends my faith and spirits down--

nothing to look forward to on the cold, hard ground.

I can drag my feet and sulk, and never go high.

I'd rather look up and hope at the sky.

The blues and the whites turn to purples and pinks,

our horizon can be whatever you can think.

I'll stretch my arm out, I wish I may or might.

One day I'll go up. One day I'll take flight.

Wasting Time

Time is a funny thing.

Back in July, I wrote another time-related Turtle Thought titled Procrastination. At the time, it was probably the most heartfelt thing I had up on my blog. Since then, I've learned to be more emotionally charged with my posts. Particularly my thoughts. Sometimes I look at my older and newer posts, and depending on which ones I grab, I see certain points of growth, fall, and plateau. And all I can think is: imagine what will happen with more time.
Time is just...everywhere.
I've written about it before, I am again, and I will yet again.
Time, in a way, dictates every moment of our lives. Yet it remains so difficult to keep up. Running late is such a common thing, we end up pushing ourselves to attempt to stay ahead of time. Though, that really isn't possible. If it's 5:30 then it's 5:30. It doesn't matter if you're supposed to be somewhere by 6:00, and you're there by 5:30, that's still a whole half hour doing nothing but waiting. So in a way, you're wasting time. But in a more obvious way, waiting til the last minute to get ready is still wasting time. However, you could always argue that you were doing something even more important, thus the event itself is wasting time. Well then, what's important? School? Work? What about leisure time? Resting? Communication? What if none of these things are important? So then, we'd constantly be wasting time.
We are. Everything we do, everything we say, all our effort and struggle, could one day mean nothing. And if we're lucky, we may be able to start something, and one day in a century or two be underappreciated in history classes. All of this, will one day poof. So yes, we are wasting time. We always are, because what else is there to do? But then, is it particularly a bad thing?
If you "waste" your life away, doing something you love, what does it matter then? Even dedicating your days to things considered productive, you'll still die one day with a limited impact. Wouldn't you rather enjoy this time you're tossing away?
Honestly, this is a similar point to the one I made in Existing, another Thought. This could even be seen as a sort of extension to it. I just find it ridiculous how so many people attempt to tell you how to live your life, when really, nothing you do really matters in the end. Nothing anyone says is really all that important to you unless you let be. What you do yourself is only as only as important as you make it. So then, is it really wasting time to lie back and relax? If that's what makes you happy, go for it. If you have a big dream that you're willing to work hard and strive for, aim for it. So what if you're wasting time? In your eyes, it's wasting time wisely, isn't it?

Picture Prompt: Person

"Hush, hush," says the small girl with white hair. 

Her lips curl under the lipstick she wears.

Cheekily, she smiles, "Shh! Stay still!"

Watch her then, see what she will.

She bats her big, brown eyes. "Don't come."

Like that, you and the ground, she darts away from.

Picture Prompt: Stacked

Colors and shapes, on each other they stand. Three levels stacked, for together they can.

Poem Prompt: Substitute

I'm not what you want,

I'm not what you need.

I'm not enough,

I'm not it.

I know, I've been told. 

But I'm still here--

I always am,

always have, always will be.

Even if I'm never your first choice--

or second or third or fourth--

I know that eventually,

in your time of need,

you'll turn to me and I can comfort you.

And that's more than enough for me.

Though you won't return.

You'll take what you want and leave

without even looking back.

I know that I could never be enough

even if I tried--yes I've tried--

so please, take what you need,

move on.

I'll be satisfied.

And I can only hope that you are too.

Poem Prompts: Hooded

Now I myself

don't see me as anything special.

How could I? When I'm in

 the same position as you.

All the other children

that do this too.

And I'm just lucky that my life

has taken root somewhere.

I've gone up and down 

and inhaled the coastal airs.

My own life covers

what won't be touched by some.

Those who wouldn't be thankful

for something like this.

And even if I don't have my own

place to call my hood, just know

I'm breathing in the winds of worries.

Hooded, unfazed, and cozy.

I'm strolling down the Earth real slow,

taking trips to all my homes.

A smile's on my face, you know me

Hooded, unfazed, and cozy.

Effort

Let's talk about effort.
The very basis of everything really. No effort, no work. No work, no results. Honestly though, as I say this, it honestly isn't all that true. Personally, I like to maintain this "all or nothing" attitude. It's why I build such hectic schedules and push myself so far. Deep down, I know that if I stick with it and put forth enough effort, I could easily get through all of it just fine. As of late especially, I've been really good with achieving what I want and getting more done. Some days I don't feel my best, and so I don't give my ultimate best everyday. However, the truth is that, I give the best that I can give that day. If I'm feeling dazed and slower, I'll still give it my all, but it'll still be worse than if I'd done it on a better day. I still manage to feel proud of myself when I can check off everything on my to-do list as being done or started.
All that aside, no effort doesn't necessarily mean no work. You can still do work without putting your heart and soul into it. A lot of the things we do as humans are done without us pouring out out love. Doesn't mean that we don't do them or that they're less important. It just means that we'll probably get the same results with half the amount of effort. Though, I find that focusing in on what you're doing and working to complete your task does keep your mind busy and motivated. While it's easy to allow day to day tasks slip between your fingertips, staying in the moment can help build your work ethic.
Now, concerning work whose results are completely dependent on your effort. You now have to work for exactly what you want. You can't skid it or else the results skid as well. These ordeals are made easier with an already established work ethic and goal-orientated mind. Even if you struggle to finish something, you have to put in the effort and get it done. A lesson I've been drilling into my head with this blog and my stories.
Write if you want others to read. They're not going to go through thin air, you have to sit down and make it. Nobody's reading? Then advertise it. Do your best to get the word out, and hope people pay attention and check it out. And most of all, if this really is a passion, then don't let the numbers discourage you. You may look at them, toss them aside, then open up a new page, and type. Why? Because A+ for effort. Even if that A+ doesn't come immediately, eventually it will. Maybe more traction, or money, or whatever else is in your path. If you put in the work, you'll be pleased to see what comes out in the end.