Lyrics Over Beat: Myself ("Peach" - Kehlani X Daniel Caesar R&B Type Beat丨Prod. chillingcat

[Verse 1]

Asking my fathers above for some peace

My guidance to stand up and finally achieve

The dreams that I see every night when I sleep

Wakin' to rust is so straining on me

Doing my best, holding on to the creak

Mending the bucket to fetch from the stream

Heading out soon, cause I just turned sixteen

Prepare for new waters, a new tsunami

[Pre-Chorus]

Three months to breathe now

Fill it up somehow

Classes and working and proving I know how

To climb up and grow

To move on my own

Lookin' ahead I just feel so alone

Chances slip by

I have to try

Reaching and searching for something of mine

Keep my head high

I'm falling each time

Pick it up, pack it up, look to the sky

[Chorus]

Cause I've got faith in myself (I'll keep moving)

I've got eyes on my prize (I will take it)

I've got love for myself 

And wherever I end up

I promise you, I'll be alright

[Verse 3]

I'm looking at life, spread it out on a grid

A look into the future's always so grim

My chances at success always feeling so slim

And right next to it, I expect the brim

My cup'll overflow, 

and even if it don't

I will its existence,

The gold's coming home

I speak my ambitions

I'll make them my own

My brilliance inhibits 

my ideas to roam.

[Verse 4]

My spirit has changed with my balancing act

Juggling keeping my psyche intact

Along with my personal, I'm tryna pass

To do what I want to, I'm tryna top that

Life's getting quicker, less time to react

Adulthood is dawning, it's drawing on fast

18 will wash up and reroute my path

Destiny's calling, I'm not going back

[Pre-Chorus]

Two years til countdown

Fill it up somehow

Planning and prepping, and teaching myself how

To climb up and grow

To stand on my own

Reminding myself that I'm never alone

Chances slip by

I have to try

Reaching and searching for something of mine

Keep my head high

I'm falling each time

Pick it up, pack it up, look to the--

[Chorus]

I've got faith in myself (I'll keep moving)

I've got eyes on my prize (I will take it)

I've got love for myself 

And wherever I end up

I promise you, I'll be just fine

Cause I'm still trusting myself (I'll keep moving)

I will wear my crown (I will wear it)

I've got love for myself 

And wherever I end up

I promise you, I'll be alright

~~~

Beat Used: "Peach" - Kehlani X Daniel Caesar R&B Type Beat | Prod. chillingcat (Whole song)

Movie Review: Geoff

An image from the movie, credit to VMLY&R NZ and Assembly Ltd

Geoff is a 2017 short film directed by Damon Duncan. According to the credits in the description, it's a campaign for Kraft Heinz Australia created by Y&R NZ(daughter organization of VMLY&R NZ) and Assembly Ltd. The main character is even described as loving "beanz." Geoff is about 3 minutes and 16 seconds long and was first released on Vimeo on September 3rd, 2017. It is now available on YouTube uploaded by CGMeetup and many others.

The story itself is heartwarming. It's about a freckled, curly-headed boy with a love for beans who grows up to be an innovator at Heinz. We see his love for each stage in life represented by his new creations. First, he creates The One for One, a can of beans that's the perfect size for one person--himself. Later on, he meets a beautiful woman from the spaghetti department and creates The One For Two. They get married and have a set of twins(who flip-flop their hair colors). Geoff, in Geoff style, creates The One For All. Then, in a small twist, he notices that he needed a snack size. The Lil' One is born. 

Since the other two are him appreciating where he is in life, The Lil' One could be a representation of downsizing and settling. The One for One is a celebration of his promotion to Head of Innovation. He's establishing himself and drives his own success. The One for Two is a celebration of romance. He takes his skills and puts them to use to impress what will become his life partner. The One for Four is a celebration of his kids. He and his wife wound up having two at one time and his family doubled, so his innovation did as well. The Lil' One is the end of the uphill climb. Instead of getting bigger and bigger, he creates something bite-sized. He's no longer reaching to add something to his life or searching for more. He is where he needs to be and now moves only to provide for what he has, not gain more.

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Poem Prompt: Take a Break

Take a break.

But I can't, not with this pile of to-dos.

Every second feels endless,

almost like I'm running on a loop.

How could I possibly even think

of putting down my pen and kicking up my feet?

There's a deadline on the calendar

8 am sharp next week.

Everything feels so out of my league,

way out of my caliber.

Take a break.

She says to me each time

I complain of never getting to sleep at night.

The bags grow under my eyes

as the energy within me dies.

I can no longer fight,

so I simply give up.

I've tried and I've tried.

It's time to raise the white flag, enough's enough.

I rest, despite my still full plate

and I wake up by daybreak.

The sun's rays are in my face

by the crack of dawn.

They sing as I yawn

not of exhaustion--but of relief.

I return to my desk and my overflowing planner

and have my seat and continue the chapter.

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Last Day of School

Honey (Credit to Johnny Balik)

This is it. By the time this goes up, it will be the last day of the 2020-2021 school year. The end of an entirely virtual school year. And to think, I used to hate the thought of homeschooling. Although, distance learning really isn't the same as homeschooling from an overview. But still--I never thought I'd be here. An entire school year without meeting my teachers. Seeing my classmates was a rarity and getting out of the house was a treasure. 

I grew a lot though. And I did a few things I'm proud of. Joined the math honor's society at my school and I started tutoring my peers. Also joined the newspaper club and wrote a few articles, I think I'll continue doing it next year. I started writing for service hours and planning my life out a bit. I did this back in 8th grade and it was really helpful, so I wanna get back into using a planner. I got to know my hair really well and I think I'm started to work with the thicc boi really well(yes, I'm keeping that name). He's in Bantu knots right now, but I think I'll do butterfly locs soon. I decided I want to try out for the poms team at my school next month so I've been practicing a lot. And I think my left pirouettes look good! My right...not so much. 

My very first college class, through dual enrollment, started two weeks ago and I'm doing well right now. It's an introductory biology class, and I do enjoy biology. I decided to major in life sciences in my high school specialty program. My second college class started today, it's a math class. I looked at the syllabus and it reminds me a lot of my pre-calc and algebra 2 courses. I have both of my notebooks from those classes so I know I've done it before. 

I've started keeping all my notebooks, from 9th and 10th grade that is. I think it helped me not freak out when I saw my course load for this summer and my junior year. It's like "You already know the basics, now just recall and build on it." It really isn't for actual reference--I'm too lazy to pull out an old notebook for something I could probably find in the class textbook. 

As for which, I'm really entering my junior year. Two more years and I'm done with the public education system and will be pursuing an actual degree(which probably will be biochem). It's so crazy to me how fast I'm growing up. Like, I'm gonna have my first paid work experience this summer. I'm tryna get my driver's license too by August, just finished driver's ed. And, I'm entering the time period when I actually need to start getting my college situation together. This time next year I'll be gearing up to start sending in my applications. Then in two years, I'll be off.

I'm still taking all of it in. I'm really almost there. But at the same time, my childhood's almost over. All the easy summers, the dozens of friends, the unforgettable cartoons. I'll spend less time in my parent's house, on this bed, and more time out there, working and studying and actually adulting. I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared. But I'd also be lying if I said I'm not insanely excited. It's horrifying and exhilarating. Sometimes I'm just itching to turn to the next chapter, other days I just want everything to stop. It's like I'm always so confused and on the edge of an existential crisis. It's like...teenagehood.

What I try to tell myself is that the world will move how the world will move. What happened yesterday cannot be undone, but what happens tomorrow is unknown. But what's here now, is here for you. You're best off remembering the past, preparing for the future, but living in the present. The picture I chose is the cover art for a song that does a really good job of grounding me and making me hopeful. I don't think that's what it's actually about, but that's how I feel.

Hello, summer 2021!

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