Honey (Credit to Johnny Balik)
This is it. By the time this goes up, it will be the last day of the 2020-2021 school year. The end of an entirely virtual school year. And to think, I used to hate the thought of homeschooling. Although, distance learning really isn't the same as homeschooling from an overview. But still--I never thought I'd be here. An entire school year without meeting my teachers. Seeing my classmates was a rarity and getting out of the house was a treasure.
I grew a lot though. And I did a few things I'm proud of. Joined the math honor's society at my school and I started tutoring my peers. Also joined the newspaper club and wrote a few articles, I think I'll continue doing it next year. I started writing for service hours and planning my life out a bit. I did this back in 8th grade and it was really helpful, so I wanna get back into using a planner. I got to know my hair really well and I think I'm started to work with the thicc boi really well(yes, I'm keeping that name). He's in Bantu knots right now, but I think I'll do butterfly locs soon. I decided I want to try out for the poms team at my school next month so I've been practicing a lot. And I think my left pirouettes look good! My right...not so much.
My very first college class, through dual enrollment, started two weeks ago and I'm doing well right now. It's an introductory biology class, and I do enjoy biology. I decided to major in life sciences in my high school specialty program. My second college class started today, it's a math class. I looked at the syllabus and it reminds me a lot of my pre-calc and algebra 2 courses. I have both of my notebooks from those classes so I know I've done it before.
I've started keeping all my notebooks, from 9th and 10th grade that is. I think it helped me not freak out when I saw my course load for this summer and my junior year. It's like "You already know the basics, now just recall and build on it." It really isn't for actual reference--I'm too lazy to pull out an old notebook for something I could probably find in the class textbook.
As for which, I'm really entering my junior year. Two more years and I'm done with the public education system and will be pursuing an actual degree(which probably will be biochem). It's so crazy to me how fast I'm growing up. Like, I'm gonna have my first paid work experience this summer. I'm tryna get my driver's license too by August, just finished driver's ed. And, I'm entering the time period when I actually need to start getting my college situation together. This time next year I'll be gearing up to start sending in my applications. Then in two years, I'll be off.
I'm still taking all of it in. I'm really almost there. But at the same time, my childhood's almost over. All the easy summers, the dozens of friends, the unforgettable cartoons. I'll spend less time in my parent's house, on this bed, and more time out there, working and studying and actually adulting. I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared. But I'd also be lying if I said I'm not insanely excited. It's horrifying and exhilarating. Sometimes I'm just itching to turn to the next chapter, other days I just want everything to stop. It's like I'm always so confused and on the edge of an existential crisis. It's like...teenagehood.
What I try to tell myself is that the world will move how the world will move. What happened yesterday cannot be undone, but what happens tomorrow is unknown. But what's here now, is here for you. You're best off remembering the past, preparing for the future, but living in the present. The picture I chose is the cover art for a song that does a really good job of grounding me and making me hopeful. I don't think that's what it's actually about, but that's how I feel.
Hello, summer 2021!
No comments:
Post a Comment