Procrastination

Procrastinating.
It's something I struggle with, I won't lie. It's why my double update didn't go according to plan, or why other than my blog, most of my works tend to go up late at night. I procrastinate. I get a majority of it done and convince myself the rest will only take five minutes. With that, I then feel the freedom to go on about my week, not worrying about this particular piece. I have so many other things to worry about, so why waste time on this one work that only needs a few touch ups? I'll get it done in my free time.
But then, what is free time? Whenever I'm not doing something laborious? Sometimes, I consider myself busy when I'm sitting down writing. But then, other times, I consider it a way to let off steam and relax. With such a blurry line between busy and free, I can easily convince myself that I'm always busy. A random skit I'm writing for fun? Busy. This drawing I'm making? Busy. A television show I'm watching? Busy. Busy, busy, busy. I'm always busy.
So then, when am I ever free? There are, of course, times when I can't get out of doing a particular task. But then, if I can say I'm busy even when I'm using minimal effort, then when am I not? Never. I'm then never free. And if I'm never free, then when do I take five minutes out of my day to finish that piece of work? Never. I'll never get it done. Until I see that I have an hour before it goes up, I won't bother because I'm busy.
And now, with just one hour left, I'll finally go over my work. Then I'll see all my errors. All the mistakes are brought to the light. I sit down, finally focused and ready to fix everything. Five minutes quickly becomes ten. Which becomes twenty. Then forty. Next thing I know, I'm only half way through editing, and I only have two minutes before the deadline.
Now, in some situations, this would be it. I'd be screwed over because someone is monitoring my time management and punctuality. In that situation, they'd punish me based on their position and I'd become less trustworthy. I may lose grade points, a promotion, my current position, or rights to a certain activity. However, that's not the case here.
I am a teenage girl, training myself to be a freelance writer when I get out of school. So then, I just need to perfect my writing, right? When I opened up my Wattpad, I decided I needed to use it to practice being a writer. When I first though about practicing, the only thing on my mind was actually writing and getting my work out there. It's been almost a year since my current account was opened, and honestly, I'm learning so much.
Not only is writing just about finishing a story, but it's also about creating a fan base. You need to gather a group of people who are willing to support you and your efforts. When I realized this, I started spreading to other websites. I created a tagline to go under to make everything easy to find. I've had friends look me up and be amazed at how much they could find. While I'm thankful for the progress I've made and the people who support me and the few dedicated readers I have, I intend to go farther. While I may linger in the spot I'm in, I have no intentions of stopping here. And as far as I plan to go, there's still one thing holding me back: procrastination.
My age old habits of lying in bed until ten, wasting the day watching videos, or moseying around to the last minute--they all need to go. I've pondered several times, on how to get rid of this terrible habit. At first, I simply wanted to say I was lazy sometimes. But after writing this and doing some reflection on myself, I feel I truly do have a problem. I have this fear of being too busy to be happy, that I refuse to ever be busy at all. And it's getting in the way of not only my dream, but also enjoying life itself.
I've gathered different solutions, like setting a time screen limit on my phone, creating a summer timetable, or a little journal that lists my day to day goals. I'm researching strategies to keep me more focused, and healthier things to fill my time with. There are certain things I wish to accomplish each day, and I won't rest until I do. Instead of telling myself I'm busy, I actually should be. Sounds foolproof, hm? Well, I know myself. And I know that it won't go as smoothly as I'd like it to. But, like I said, I'm a teenager. My brain is still developing, so if I can instill it in my daily habits to fight procrastination now, maybe I won't have such a hard time as an adult.
I realize this Turtle Thought was a little bit more personal than the others, and I'm not sure if that'll be a new trend or not. I just procrastinated less and spent more time on this one, and I felt as though relating the issue to my personal life would help portray my message. Laziness really isn't all it's cracked up to be.


Note: I wrote busy so many times through this, I had to pause and look up what it meant to ensure it was still a word.