Vision

Wow, it's nice to finally post on time.
So, my eyesight's always been terrible. Even back when I didn't realize just how bad it was, I knew something was wrong. As a small girl, if I sat on the couch to watch T.V. I would end up straining my eyes because of how much I needed to squint to see it. People always pointed it out and I started becoming hyper-aware of just how much I squinted while watching T.V. I would try to squint enough so I could just make out the image on the screen, but not so much to where passersby could see me struggling. I denied up and down that I needed glasses until my doctor confirmed it a little while after my eleventh birthday. I got glasses that summer and were all but reliant on them for a year. I genuinely believed that they would correct my eyesight. If anything, my eyes quickly became dependent on glasses and got much worse, much faster. By the end of sixth grade and through seventh, I started only wearing my glasses when I felt I needed them. If we were doing a class discussion where I needed to see something up in front, I'd wear them. But if it was individual work in front of my face or something that required physical activity, I refused. And, honestly, my frame was too thin to really flatter me anyways.
Since then, I'm less extreme with when I do and don't wear them. I tend to never wear them indoors, however. And I still refuse to wear them for physical activities. But it's more of a balance now. Sixth grade, many people were only used to me wearing them and were surprised when I took them off. Seventh grade, a few people didn't even know I had them. Since eighth, my newer friends say that they're equally accustomed to both looks. I occasionally get someone asking where my glasses are if I leave them off for too long, but other than that both are pretty normalized.
Still, I struggle with seeing in general. My eyes are easily irritated, they constantly feel like they're in pain, and I always feel like I look so tired. My field of sight is continually getting shorter and I'm starting to learn how to recognize letters from a distance. I used to be genuinely afraid of going blind, but now I doubt that possibility. And for that, I'm grateful. My eyesight's started plateauing a bit so I'm not as worried. It's still plausible, just not as likely. Maybe with a bit more care, my eyes might last longer than I'd predicted.
Frankly, it helps me appreciate my body more. My eyes are the one thing I consistently struggle with, and it serves as a small reminder to protect the parts of my body I don't need to pay as much attention to. My blurry vision, in some ways, pushes me to exercise more. I take on these health challenges because I know that if my whole body fell into the same state my eyes are in, I would crumble to the ground. I'm sitting on my bed right now as I write this, and when I glance up to my analog clock on the wall, I can't read it. I can't see any of the lines, big or small, and can barely see the numbers. I can guess the time though--around twenty minutes to midnight.
And, I should sleep.
Sleep is good for my eyes.

Movie Review: Zapped

A little blast from the past. Well, my past at least.
Zapped is a one-hour-and-forty-two-minute long family fantasy movie. It was released on June 24, 2014, in the U.S., and was directed by Peter DeLuise, who is mostly known for his role as Officer Doug Penhall in 21 Jump Street. He also directed 16 Wishes with James Jandrisch who composed the themes for both 16 Wishes and Zapped. They both have a history of more mature fictional/fantasy movies and how either of them wound up on Disney is beyond me.
Zapped features Zendaya Coleman in the lead role of Zoey Stevens. We start by seeing the marriage between her birth mother and her new step-father. From the get-go, Zoey clearly hates the new arrangement. To be fair, going from being the only child/daughter living with a single mom to having three brothers and a football step-dad is quite the change. It's chaotic there. No one is adjusting to anyone and it causes a mess that stains Zoey's school outfit. Zoey and her mom try to take their time and be organized while her step-dad and brothers are messy and rushing. Alas, the boys v. girls theme sat within the rest of the movie and became a driving force. I audibly sighed the eighteenth time she brought up how gross boys are. How they even fit in a romance arc amid "cooties" is beyond me. Isn't she supposed to be a freshman in high school? As a fellow freshman, I'm insulted.
But, not only does the "boys suck" theme showcase Zoey as stuck up and entitled, but it also dehumanizing the boys of this movie. So many of them are disgusting, unkept, rowdy, loud, destructive--the list goes on. Sure, plenty of boys are like this, but only to a degree. The movie quite literally has four zombie-looking guys sitting in front of the school harboring in their own filth and flies. Yuck. If anything, other high school boys would relentlessly bully these vermins into taking a shower. Cruel, sure. But no fellow high schooler would excuse it with "boys, amirite?"
With all the male hatred the movie has thrown at us, all it takes is a boy to actually shower before school and follow the "lemme show you to your class" trope to form a love interest. Zoey walks into the wrong class and the misunderstood-bad-boy shows off his knowledge and refuses to take off his sunglasses. Jackson Kale, played by Spencer Boldman. (Yes, the pretty boy from lab rats.) He's sent to walk Zoey to his class and the two have a nice conversation. Cause he's a normal boy, and normal boys and girls can have nice conversations. He then looks her up and down, dubs her Smartphone because of her phone obsession and walks off. Honestly, Smartphone is such a dumb nickname I can't be mad at it. What I can be mad at is Taylor Dean, the entitled blonde, spying on her ex-boyfriend flirting with the new girl. Ugh, I hate that trope and by proxy, hate her.
And what do you know, Taylor's the dance team captain. And, what else do you know, Zoey's a talented dancer(she's played by Zendaya, why wouldn't she be) who wants in on the team. So, naturally, she turns out to be the only one who can dance but doesn't make the team because Taylor hates her. After some begging, she puts her on JV, the "bad" team. Which, freshmen rarely make varsity so why she thinks that's gonna demoralize Zoey is unknown. If anything, all it does is give her a chance to watch varsity from a distance and fuel her longing to join. Chanelle, the best friend, is kinda plopped in beside her. Her dance skills aren't really consistent. In the beginning, she has two huge left feet to allow Zoey shine, during practice she can suddenly keep up because the team has to sync up but girls can't follow the commands, and during the performance, the whole team is suddenly amazing. I would say a natural progression but...considering the dance-off is meant to "kick-off" the basketball season, I refuse to believe it's been more than a month.*
Onto the main plot, her phone becomes magic. In some freak accident you have to see to believe, Zoey's dog-trainer app now controls all boys/men. My initial question was why only boys? Well, "girls are too catty." That is quite literally Chanelle's quoted guess as to why and the closest thing we get to an explanation. This isn't okay.
And, as anyone with a magic boy-controlling app would do, Chanelle and Zoey abuse this. They start forcing people to do what they want against their will. Zoey, in the lowest point of the whole movie, even uses it to sabotage the varsity team into messing up their dance during practice. She then proceeds to berate Taylor, which is where I stopped caring for her character. Jackson sees and rightfully suggests they stop seeing each other. She then uses her magic phone to make him kiss her(cheek, this is Disney). The pinnacle of Zoey's hypocrisy. She preaches night and day about how competitive, reckless, and intolerable boys are and turns around to do this.
The practice is cut short(you all have a dance-off tonight, you can't stay in sync without a magic phone, and you end the practice because you're bummed out???) and Zoey goes home and wallows in shame. Not once does she look for her phone, and by the time she realizes Taylor stole it, Taylor's abusing it. Isn't your principal a woman? Report that a student stole your phone and outright refused to return it. Boom, charge her, suspend her, and get the phone back. Instead, they choose a more humiliation approach. Zoey gets on the ground and starts acting like a dog to entertain her. Her family and Jackson(who showed up too late to hear Taylor's commands) break free and join her. Cute, but this does nothing. Chanelle ends up being the one to retrieve the phone and Zoey really just uses the moment to show off her character growth. 
Now, the dance-off.
Well...varsity sucked. The outfits show a clear power imbalance that is showcased in the dance. Taylor and her minion remain in the front and center of the few lousy formations they pull off while the other dancers spend too much time turned around. I would understand this if Taylor was doing a stunt or a show-stopper, but no. She does the same moves as the others but with a brighter smile. And the choreo was way too slow/simple for the packed song they chose.
JV, on the other hand, was amazing. As expected. The Haka used at the beginning fit beautifully (though seeing as Zoey treated it with disdain earlier, it's a little disrespectful) and opened up the perfect song for their choreo. The formations give in to each other so smoothly and everyone in the group has a turn in the front to show off and in the back to give way. They win and Zoey somehow still gets Jackson to go on a date with her. Sigh.

*The timing for seasons is all off. This is meant to be the beginning of the year, so this is the fall season. The fall season for any sport always starts before the actual first day of school. I was thinking of auditioning for dance freshman year. There were training camps and medicals in June and July, tryouts were late July and early August and the official season started mid-August. Basketball follows a similar pattern. By the start of school, both sports should've been halfway through the season.

Poem Prompt: Unknown

Mama sent me out--we were out of mangoes
and Junior wailed for more.
I scruffed and walked to the tree grove.
Admittedly, it wasn't too far out.
The island was only so big,
and there were only so many feet you could fit in
between us and the trees.
I joined the other women in the grove,
picking a day's worth of fruit.
No less so Junior wouldn't complain until tomorrow.
No more so there would be fruit for others.

A boat washed up on the shore,
its dashboards creaked
as its support hit the sand
and crumpled from the impact.
My entire life, I hadn't seen anything like it.
Up until then, I had never really been sure of what a boat even was.
A pile of wood that floated on water?
And it was meant to carry me? A whole person?
Nonsense.
But when I saw full-grown men clambering out of the wooden trap,
my eyes widened.
I guess a ship was more than nonsense.

I had frozen in place--I didn't know what to do.
I watched as they hauled out supplies
and set up what looked like a camp.
The other women quickly went away,
leaving me alone with the men.
Though, I doubt they even acknowledged me.
I was a good distance away and still among the trees.
I was thin enough and they were tired enough--
maybe I looked like a tree.
So I stood there, gawking.

I suppose one of the women noticed me.
I felt a small, cool hand on my shoulder,
pulling me back.
Obediently, I followed.
I kept my head down and didn't catch a face.
But, I saw her delicately embroidered ankles,
a sign of a woman of status.
I kept my head bowed,
in respect.

That night I tossed and turned,
curiosity kept my brain churning.
I thought of the men--
big and scruffy,
exhausted and desperate for rest.
I looked to my side, where Junior lay still.
Silent, unmoving--perfect for creeping past.
I rushed out the window, quieter than Papa in deep thought.
The moon was so dim I could hardly see my feet.
So, I walked slowly and stood tall, fluffing the curls on my head.
Surely, anyone looking out their window wouldn't blink twice at a tree.

I made it to the grove and stooped down to the bushes.
Crawling along, I watched out for sticks and roaches.
I knew the grove like my palm,
I could sense when I was nearing the edge closest to the shore.
Finally, I popped my head up,
hoping to be a bush.
To my dismay, the camp was gone.
Maybe I was mistaken?

I stood up now and limbered out of the leaves.
Walking along the shore, I saw no sign of the men.
No ship, no camp, no supplies--
nothing.
The water was still and the sands were whole,
as if nothing had ever crashed into it.
I started to wonder
if it was all just a dream.
I looked down to my feet--to check if this was a dream.
Alas, my feet were still there.
And, maybe a foot away from them, so was a bottle.
It reflected my face and the moonlight well
and I could see clearly through it.
In it was a small piece of paper.
Scrabbled on it:
u n k n o w n.